Saturday, November 5, 2011

The Dream (PTSD)

The dream has started again, twisting through my mind at night, teasing me with truth and lies.

Laying on my back with the sun in my eyes, I hear the whomp, whomp, whomp of the chopper blades.  Shifting shadows leaning over me, I squint trying to make out what they are.  A hand touches my cheek.  Muttering voices grow loader and I realize they are shouting, Medic.  Suddenly it is like time shifts and sound slams into me, I am looking up in Bear’s face as he says, “You’re OK! You just twisted something.” and then the pain catches up, and it feels like my leg is on fire.  Time shifts again and I am standing at attention with my M16, “Ready. Fire. Ready. Fire. Ready. Fire.” as we fire the salute over one of our fallen.  Then suddenly I am in the dark, gasping for breath trying to claw my way free and breathe but all I smell is the alcohol on his breath, the shifting dream saves me as my hand raises to knock on a door, yet I am the one to open it.  I step through into the corridors of the VA and the panic they cause.

The dream is a mixture of truth and lies.  It changes over time but always signals when stresses are getting to be to much in my life and I need to watch out for the PTSD.  It’s funny, the VA claims that PTSD just goes away over time.  I wish it did, I honestly wish it did.

I will write about the Dream often, I have to because it might be the only way to heal.

I write like
Chuck Palahniuk

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

The above badge does crack me up though...

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

People are "insert proper swear word here" and Anyone want some Crisps! And I like Pie and Apple Pie Cookies.

People Are insert proper swear word here

Yesterday there was an actual post on G+ of a person asking for donations to pay for a speeding ticket.  He called it a "Social Test".  Really.

The Social Test and what other G+ users had to say.  (it seems that for reasons unknown to me the fore-mentioned user is no longer a member of G+, I had resisted writing him, choosing to blog instead)

1.  Some Ass drives their car into my living room and I don't expect anyone to SAVE ME or HELP ME.  It would have been nice but I don't expect it.

2.  Put on your Big Girl Panties and accept responsibility for your actions!  Pay the Ticket, don't ask others who might be hurting themselves for help.

What really pisses me off is we are having to wipe out the savings, and Chippewa Man's TSP account because the insurance companies are not doing their job.   I still have not heard one thing back from any of the companies involved.  24 hour support my ass!

Done Venting,

Anyone want some Crisps!

Sliced with my potato peeler, fried in olive oil and with just a pinch of sea salt over them.

I like Pie! and Apple Pie Cookies!!!!

An Apple/Peach Pie I made.  
These are sinfully good apple pie cookies.  

I cheated on the recipe a bit when I made them.  I suggest no cheating because the original recipe is so much better than my life is to hectic to slow down and do it right cheat.  You can find the recipe at Smitten Kitchen.  I plan on exploring that site for many more wonderful recipes.