Saturday, November 5, 2011

The Dream (PTSD)

The dream has started again, twisting through my mind at night, teasing me with truth and lies.

Laying on my back with the sun in my eyes, I hear the whomp, whomp, whomp of the chopper blades.  Shifting shadows leaning over me, I squint trying to make out what they are.  A hand touches my cheek.  Muttering voices grow loader and I realize they are shouting, Medic.  Suddenly it is like time shifts and sound slams into me, I am looking up in Bear’s face as he says, “You’re OK! You just twisted something.” and then the pain catches up, and it feels like my leg is on fire.  Time shifts again and I am standing at attention with my M16, “Ready. Fire. Ready. Fire. Ready. Fire.” as we fire the salute over one of our fallen.  Then suddenly I am in the dark, gasping for breath trying to claw my way free and breathe but all I smell is the alcohol on his breath, the shifting dream saves me as my hand raises to knock on a door, yet I am the one to open it.  I step through into the corridors of the VA and the panic they cause.

The dream is a mixture of truth and lies.  It changes over time but always signals when stresses are getting to be to much in my life and I need to watch out for the PTSD.  It’s funny, the VA claims that PTSD just goes away over time.  I wish it did, I honestly wish it did.

I will write about the Dream often, I have to because it might be the only way to heal.

I write like
Chuck Palahniuk

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

The above badge does crack me up though...

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