The Dream (PTSD)

The dream has started again, twisting through my mind at night, teasing me with truth and lies.

Laying on my back with the sun in my eyes, I hear the whomp, whomp, whomp of the chopper blades.  Shifting shadows leaning over me, I squint trying to make out what they are.  A hand touches my cheek.  Muttering voices grow loader and I realize they are shouting, Medic.  Suddenly it is like time shifts and sound slams into me, I am looking up in Bear’s face as he says, “You’re OK! You just twisted something.” and then the pain catches up, and it feels like my leg is on fire.  Time shifts again and I am standing at attention with my M16, “Ready. Fire. Ready. Fire. Ready. Fire.” as we fire the salute over one of our fallen.  Then suddenly I am in the dark, gasping for breath trying to claw my way free and breathe but all I smell is the alcohol on his breath, the shifting dream saves me as my hand raises to knock on a door, yet I am the one to open it.  I step through into the corridors of the VA and the panic they cause.

The dream is a mixture of truth and lies.  It changes over time but always signals when stresses are getting to be to much in my life and I need to watch out for the PTSD.  It’s funny, the VA claims that PTSD just goes away over time.  I wish it did, I honestly wish it did.

I will write about the Dream often, I have to because it might be the only way to heal.

I write like
Chuck Palahniuk

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

The above badge does crack me up though...

People are "insert proper swear word here" and Anyone want some Crisps! And I like Pie and Apple Pie Cookies.

People Are insert proper swear word here


Yesterday there was an actual post on G+ of a person asking for donations to pay for a speeding ticket.  He called it a "Social Test".  Really.

The Social Test and what other G+ users had to say.  (it seems that for reasons unknown to me the fore-mentioned user is no longer a member of G+, I had resisted writing him, choosing to blog instead)

1.  Some Ass drives their car into my living room and I don't expect anyone to SAVE ME or HELP ME.  It would have been nice but I don't expect it.

2.  Put on your Big Girl Panties and accept responsibility for your actions!  Pay the Ticket, don't ask others who might be hurting themselves for help.

What really pisses me off is we are having to wipe out the savings, and Chippewa Man's TSP account because the insurance companies are not doing their job.   I still have not heard one thing back from any of the companies involved.  24 hour support my ass!

Done Venting,

Anyone want some Crisps!

Sliced with my potato peeler, fried in olive oil and with just a pinch of sea salt over them.

Yummy!

I like Pie! and Apple Pie Cookies!!!!

An Apple/Peach Pie I made.  

Yummy

These are sinfully good apple pie cookies.  

I cheated on the recipe a bit when I made them.  I suggest no cheating because the original recipe is so much better than my life is to hectic to slow down and do it right cheat.  You can find the recipe at Smitten Kitchen.  I plan on exploring that site for many more wonderful recipes.

My Holey House and the Great Orange Paint Conspiracy!

So I am dealing with this the only way I know how, with humor.

I would rather be throwing a temper tantrum but that would help nothing.

I would rather not be having nightmares but they are old friends, just have added bits now.

(I will write about them later)

So last night, I broke down and made my angry pumpkin out of foam board. 

I still say there is a orange paint conspiracy!

There has to be orange paint somewhere!

I wanted the Great Pumpkin!  

I know it is silly but I swear the Great Pumpkin would just make it better somehow.

My house is still Holey!

To all the assholes who keep saying this is such a rare thing to happen!!!!

  Fuck Off and see the following pics found with a simple search!  

And to the others who keep saying, "Oh, you are handling this so well."

That is only because I am daydreaming of stabbing you.

Carry On.

My house is Holely! Conversations by my porch! And the Great Orange Paint Conspiracy!

Last night while watching reruns of Doctor Who with my Evil Child, a woman decided to make my living room a drive-thru.  Thankfully the only known causality is our HDTV and possibly the PS3, (and the wall, the window, various family photos and my nerves)  I have hopes that the PS3 will be resuscitated when Chippewa Man comes home from work at 6 a.m.  Bizarrely the woman was able to drive away without major damage to her SUV.  If this seems like a flippant account of events.  It is.


The resulting photos and tags I will blame on Trenton Ray of G+.  It's all his fault, really it is...

There is glass in my Chuck's... Sacrilege!  

I am making a fashion statement...and it's cold!

and I was almost done with the new paint..

Oh, look pretty curtains.

Bay Window anyone

Sigh...all that work

The avenue of destruction

I once had this really cool wrap-around porch.

Various conversations heard around my porch today...

Landlord:  How the hell did she????

Me:  I am guessing rocket fuel.

Me:  All Hale the Holely House.

Landlord:  You've been watching to much Monty Python.

Me:  There is no such thang!

Me:  So where we going to put the cashier now we have a drive-thru

Landlord:  I say right there on the left.

Now after all is said and done, my landlord and his cohorts come out and put a huge green house band-aid over the destruction.

It really needs the Great Pumpkin painted on it!  

UPDATE

There is an orange paint conspiracy! 

 I will not be defeated!  

I don't care how many stores I must stalk shop to find it,

 but there will be pumpkins and other Halloweenie things on that house band-aid.

Oh and the best news at all...  The PS3 can take a licking and keep on ticking!  

It's Alive!

The Snarky and sometime intelligent sayings of A. Morrow

A. Morrow is my pen name... I have decided to use the name I was born with, not the one I ended up with out of my own stupidity. I tend to say a lot of things off the cuff...



"I am 47, not 20, my face is supposed to have laugh lines and a few wrinkles, it means I have laughed, loved, cried and lost. In other words, I have lived!"



"Sometimes it is easier to love the wrong one, than to wait for the right one. I will wait... "



"I am the Phoenix, about to rise up from the ashes and be reborn."



"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH Shiney......Are those handcuffs for me?"



"Writer Block..... were the ideas are like butterflies that flutter around my head. They land lightly on the synapsis of the brain to give me a brief glimpse of heaven then glide away. Ah, the agony!!!!"

"I'm sorry, you want me to suck what?
Well, when you get me an electron microscope so I can find it,
I might consider your request."

"No, I can't dance with you.
I am only here doing a research project on the inbreeding habits of rednecks. Could you please participate with that redneck right over there."
"

I am sorry I would rather discuss Nietzsche with a monkey."

"Tae-bo is not a fighting style but if you like I can show you one up close and personal."
"Wish God would cure the insanity but I guess he figured we needed the amusement". A. Morrow on her ex boss.

Me and Doctor Who...

We both wear Chuck's.... Well, the Ten Doctor wore Chuck's and on Saturday's episode the Doctor was wearing them again, this time in white.  Yippie!  I just wanted to throw that out there..... That is all.